Integrity Score 1500
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1 You don't have to be the bigger person. You have to protect yourself first and stop living up to values you inherited when they require you to betray yourself or feel unsafe.
2 Never ever be mean to yourself. Like literally do not do it ever. Shaming and berating yourself only makes things worse. We have to learn how to approach ourselves from a baseline of compassion. There is a whole world that will be mean to you, don't make it an inside job.
3 Be selfish and let go of the guilt. Set the boundaries you need to feel safe and heard. Stop taking responsibility for other people's emotions.
4 Change and healing can't happen through thought. it requires action, it is in the doing - in facing our fears and going outside our comfort zone that we grow. stop waiting for clarity and start moving.
5 Be open and communicate, with anyone especially intimate partners. It takes more work to not have the conversation that it does to withdraw, retreat, and build resentment. Tackle hard conversations head on. You're not too much for wanting to talk.
6 Meet and accept yourself where you are. No matter the challenge, mistake or struggle you must learn to kindly accept these parts of yourself.
Remember - These things on the surface may sound like good soundbites, important, and something to practice. Which they are. But the experiences (trauma) that often prevents people from fully believing, feeling, and applying it is much more complex. This is when you know something intellectually but struggle to fully integrate and believe it emotionally. Be patient with yourself. This is where acceptance is necessary.