It was this Tuesday evening, after a call with a long-time friend, I got to thinking about my ‘lack of joy and excitement’ over being accepted into a university in London for my Masters come this September. My friend asked me, “Where’s the excitement, Sean?” to which I had no answer. It was not that I was not excited and happy about. Believe me, I am super happy about my latest achievement.
My friend did make me think, am I really this fucked up? A huge thing is happening in my life and I am pretending as if it is just another day in the office. Yeah, to me it seems off! Hell, I even thought that some screws from my head could have fallen off. I even tried whacking my head but the results were inconclusive, unfortunately.
This really bothered me? Like why am I not the jump for joy kind of person? I mean, at this point I was certain that I was high on something—although I never did any of the stuff in real life. To add more to it, I even got a scholarship yet, I am not like jumping for joy.
Strangely enough, I have been feeling exhausted because this process is draining—mentally and physically. Quite frankly, it’s lonely too as it is just you and only you—be it from selecting a course to choosing a country, then to prepare your documents. They were excruciatingly painful; especially the resume and the statement of purpose. After giving all the energy you have to these two vital pieces of paper, you realise that you are not even one-third the way through of your application.
Then there is an essay for scholarships too and of course, who could forget the obtaining Letters of Recommendation (it was easier in my case. Sidebar: make sure you have at least three letters of recommendation to be on a safer side), then scanning all your documents. And then, you sit and apply to universities. Now you have nothing to do—but wait! The anxiety, the mood swings and the internal struggle to deal with that crazy device in your head.

Contd…