While speaking with a broker to find a flat, I had this interesting conversation:

Broker: “What is your profile ma'am? Vayjeetarian or...*discreet pause* NON-vayjeetarian"

Me: “Well… I'm from Kerala”

Broker: “Oh NONvayjeetarian. No problem ma'am we will find non-vayjeetarian flat"

It was amusing but an indicator that we are not in the Utopian society of the future. I am hunting for an apartment, and at this point I have been turned down for a variety of reasons.

I'm a lawyer - some people don't want to rent to lawyers. I am not strictly vegetarian- that's another black mark against my name. I am not married - that's the worst one of all!

I live with my partner (and cat), and I have no intention of getting married. Unfortunately, that signals to Indian society that I am that least desirable of things: a LIVE-IN.

Live-ins, according to landlords, might as well be bachelors. It is useless to protest that I am old, that I am staid, that my idea of a good time is usually to watch reality shows on Netflix with a (single) beer, and that I know how to keep a house clean. As a live-in (even if I have been with the same person for twelve years), I am accorded the same status as a horde of rowdy college boys who leave vomit stains and tobacco ash on the walls.

What century are we living in? And when will we abolish landlords?


Vocabulary You Should Know When Flat Hunting In India:
___________________________________________

“Seeking pure vegetarian 😊" - You better be UC Hindu

“Families only" - Please be married with children, and no pets do not count

“Chilled out female wanted 😎" - I will not call the police when you smoke a cigarette

“Comes with free sofa cum bed cum chair" - We live in squalor

“No owner interference" - He only comes by once a day

“Prime location" - Say goodbye to sleep forever


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