BY GREGORY SMITH

What happens when you pull the emergency brake on the freeway? A client decided to try it at 60mph. It was his way of crying for help. Sometimes a person’s bad behavior can speak louder than their words.

Recently, I met a client upon his release from jail. I didn’t have all the details about his weekend incarceration. So, I asked questions to learn why he’d been arrested. As I drove him to an appointment, we turned onto the freeway, going 60 mph in moderate traffic. He related the story of his arrest, but some of the details eluded me. So, I asked what I believed to be good, clarifying questions.

Emergency Brakes at Highway Speeds

Without warning, he reached from the passenger seat and pulled the handle to the parking brake. The car lurched as we decelerated rapidly. The driver behind us hit the horn, squealed their tires, and swerved to avoid rear-ending us. Fortunately, we avoided collision by a narrow margin. I reached down, releasing the parking brake, and pulled to the shoulder as soon as possible. “Why did you do that?” I asked him.

“I just want everything to stop,” he said. “I want all the problems to stop. I want all the questions to stop.”

“Stop the World”

Suddenly I realized my client had communicated his desire to stop, or rather for me to stop, in the only way he knew how in that moment. Pulling the parking brake was his way of saying, “Stop the world, I want to get off.” Throughout the rest of our encounter that day, I could collaborate with him under a new understanding.

At that moment, all this man wanted was to have his needs met. He didn’t need to explain himself to me or anyone else. He didn’t feel like defending behaviors that led to his incarceration. All he required at that moment was for someone to care for him. He needed me to listen to what he wanted to say, instead of asking questions.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/breathingspace/2024/03/emergency-brakes-at-highway-speeds-other-cries-for-help/