I'd dealt with gender identity on and off my whole life and things really came to a head, like seventh grade. I didn’t realize why things were getting really rough at the time, but looking back through a different lens, I’m able to understand why.

There were times I would struggle with my gender identity, and after those periods of time, I would usually lean hardcore into masculinity because I thought, "No, no, no, that can't be me."

In my mind, bodybuilding was peak masculinity, because it came from a period of time when I was struggling, and was like, "I gotta take that turn into masculinity to get away from this shit."

I would hate every time that it would happen because it just wasn't me.

I only did competitive bodybuilding for a year to two years, because I didn't like the gym culture that reinforced masculinity in a very toxic way.

Even during that period of time, when I was trying to suppress my transness, I hated the gym culture. For me, it was just, "Well, I got to play this part. And ultimately, if I get this muscular body, then I'll stop hating my body."

So sports for me entailed a lot of leaning into masculinity, or my own just natural competitive nature from being brought up in a competitive environment.

I came out over the course of two long years, and other trans people being visible helped me be okay with the process. Seeing other people sharing their story helped me get that courage, and I feel like it's my duty to pay that forward.

So I make myself very visible, and love trying to answer questions for people or educate people or help them on their own journey.

[As told to @Ragi Gupta — continued]