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When I started practising sexology in the 80s, at KEM hospital, Bombay my colleagues and relatives who were doctors used to laugh at me.
Sexology was an untouchable branch, which no doctor of repute wanted to pursue.
Only men came to me as patients. In the first five years of my career at KEM, I saw only male patients at the OPD (outpatient department). Even if I asked them to bring their wives they would be like “doctor saab, problem to harmara hai, wife ka kya kam hai?” (the problem is with us, what has my wife got to do with it?) So I will try to explain you can’t clap with one hand.
Today I have women calling me up to complain that they are unable to have multiple orgasms and sometimes even to issue divorce threats to their husbands, who are unable to satisfy them in bed and are not doing anything about it. Women in India have realised that sexual right is a basic human right and it needs to be respected.
I could see signs of this shift even as early as the 80s when I started delivering lectures on orgasm. Women were the first to be receptive towards my lectures.
All those who invited me to talk about sex in public, during my initial days as a sexologist were all women. The first person who invited me to write columns on sex was author and journalist Vimala Patil. The first person who invited me on television for a talk show on sex was Kalindi Randiri, the founder-principal of Women’s Polytechnic of SNDT, Mumbai.
The first person who invited me on radio for a talk show too was a woman: Minnal Dixit. It’s only after that men started approaching me for interviews. Clearly, women in this country have more guts than men.
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(In conversation with Sangeeth Sebastian, writer and founder of Vvox, a sextech platform. The biography is a part of an AKADialog initiative to capture the lives of newsmakers.)