When it comes to sex, Indian men are pretty clueless. Most of them use their wives/partners as sleeping pills. They are ignorant about foreplay.

This is one of the main reasons behind orgasmic difficulties in women. Sometimes, they confuse lubrication with orgasm.

In principal, sex is a science, but in practice, it’s an art.

Even today various cases are referred to me by doctors, even from abroad, mostly on orgasm related issues.

My first line of treatment as a doctor begins by taking a detailed history of the patient. Each session can lasts for up to one and half hours. Almost 90 per cent of sexual difficulties can be diagnosed with good history taking alone.

Nearly 99.9 percent of sexual problems revolve around four parameters. For a man it’s desire, erection, penetration and orgasm and for a women it’s desire lubrication, penetration and orgasm.

One of my primary duties as a doctor is to clear the myths and misconceptions my patients have around sexuality.

Once the patient is fully informed, he/she begins to feel better and gets a positive transference. I usually conclude my history taking session by listening to what the patients have to say about their sexual difficulty.

Once I had a poet couple from Pakistan who came to meet me for a sexual problem. Even after talking to them for a long time, I could not extract any information of value with which I could help them. The woman was too shy
to even speak. So after completing my history taking session, as a last attempt,
 I asked her if there is anything, which she would like to share, which I haven’t asked.

This time she opened up, though in her own poetic way.

“Doctor saab, baat kuch aise hai ki woh to nahake chaldiye aur lehari tadapti rahgyi.’ (He will come, take a bath and go, but the waves keep lashing). What she wanted to say was she was unsatisfied by her husband.

                                                               (Continues)

(In conversation with Sangeeth Sebastian, writer and founder of Vvox, a sextech platform. The biography is a part of an AKADialog initiative to capture the lives of newsmakers.)