In an interview with Allure editor Devon Abelman, the K-pop star opens up about the panic attack that changed the course of 2020 for him and how he's spreading mental health awareness among teens and young adults.

most of all, K-pop stars seldom talk about mental health. Sure, they take breaks to focus on it and briefly touch on their experiences, but delving into the moments they felt like they were dying in the midst of a panic attack is unheard of.

However, 2020 made having a conversation with a K-pop star about death seem fathomable. In April, Jae was convinced he was having a heart attack. While in a taxi, on his way home from shooting the music video for “Truman” — a song he recorded as part of a solo venture called eaJ Project — Jae found himself gasping for air. Numbness trickled down each limb.

"I started feeling my heart pulsating super fast, and I legit thought I was going to die," Jae recalls He was determined to appear as calm as possible, though. COVID-19 was just starting to spike around the world, so Jae feared his hyperventilating would freak out the driver and he'd get thrown out of the car. Someway, somehow, Jae was able to compose himself enough to ask the driver to take him to the hospital.

There, doctors informed Jae that he wasn't dying after all. He was having a panic attack and was later diagnosed with panic disorder. "The greatest sigh of relief I've sighed in my life was the moment the doctor told me that you can't die from panic attacks or panic disorder," Jae says. "Atlas dropped his boulder from my shoulder."