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How Indian marriages work: In Indian society, the responsibility of keeping the marriage running lies on the shoulders of women, regardless of education or career. ‘Aurat ghar ko bandhe rakhti hain’ We believe that women are the keepers of the home and societies.
In patriarchal societies, women are conditioned to follow gender stereotypes. Here the duties of running homes, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, raising children and becoming caregivers to in-laws fall to them. Men aren’t really expected to share their load and in case they do, we consider it a blessing and call ourselves lucky but never a duty.
Marriages are ‘holy’ or ‘sacred’ and last for seven lifetimes, ‘saat janam and not just one lifetime. Women are taught to accept-adjust-conform to their rules of marital homes and the breakdown of marriages are seen as a disgrace.
Why should women carry the burden of a bad marriage?
The women who manage to discharge their duties and responsibilities without complaining or grumbling are respected. They are held as role models for others to follow. Meanwhile, boys are allowed to grow up with indiscriminate freedom and no restrictions whatsoever. So, obviously, there’s no pressure of performance.
Women have a rule book on moral code of conduct – the do’s and don’ts for an ‘adarsh nari’ (deal woman). At the same time, men aren’t expected to be ‘maryada purushottam‘ (ideal man) and the theory of ‘boys will be boys’ continues.
However, with education and literacy women have questioned the inequalities and discrimination. This, in its turn, has led the traditionalists and orthodoxy to blame modern education for the breakdown of marriages.
Men fear when women raise their voice. They know women can no longer be controlled or subjugated by patriarchy when women square up to them.